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NFL Week 15: My Picks

 

This was the last straw. I thought I hated Skip Bayless as much as I humanly could. This “All He Does Is Win” song, like all other DJ Steve Porter songs, is complete and utter garbage. As If we needed more of this guy, ESPN for some reason decided to make a one minute, glorifying music video to pay homage to Tim and Skip Tebow.

I have nothing against Tebow, but I have a lot against the coverage he’s getting. I finished my last final on Tuesday morning and got back in time to watch the replay of 1st&10. What do I see? A question regarding Tim Tebow. Fine, whatever. Wednesday comes, I wake up in time to watch the live version of First Take, what do I see? A topic regarding Tim Tebow. Thursday comes, once again I wake up and First Take is on, and WHAT DO IT SEE? A TOPIC ABOUT TIM FREAKING TEBOW.

ESPN knows what they’re doing. They did it with Brett Favre. I guess the ESPN formula is: constant coverage + viewers = must like the topic. No, no and no. I actually used to find the 1st&10 segment enjoyable, even in the (gulp) Woody Paige days. Now it consists of Skip yelling, Tebow, more Tebow, NBA, Skip yelling, Skip owning everyone but Stephen A. Smith, Tebow, NBA and finishing with Tebow. It’s unbearable.

I wish Stephen A. would be on every show with Skip, because Stephen A. is actually competent when he talks. Unlike the “analysts” or the “Two Live Stews” (I feel dumber just typing that), Stephen A. makes solid points to back up his Skip-like persona. I’m thankful that ESPN gave Smith his job back, his NBA insight is a welcome sight to a network that desperately seeks competence in all their sports coverage.

We watch ESPN because it’s the norm. It’s what we’ve grew up on. We aren’t going to watch VS or FoxSports. There’s a reason The Best Damn Sports Show Period didn’t make it. ESPN is king. This king is making Skip Bayless it’s self righteous prince. I hate it, I know plenty of other people that hate it and it MUST stop.

As if you needed another reason to hate Skip Bayless…

 

10-6-0 last week

108-81-5 for the season

Home team in BOLD and CAPS

FALCONS (-11½) over Jaguars

Yes this game already happened. Yes the Falcons covered. Yes I would have really chosen the Falcons to cover.

BUCCANEERS (+7) over Cowboys

Subtract the Cowboys fluke victory over the 49ers early in the season and you get a Cowboys team with not one impressive victory this whole season. They’re more famous for their colossal collapses then their victories. On the road in a must win game this has all the ingredients to a disappointing Cowboys loss. They might not lose but they sure as hell won’t cover.

GIANTS (-7) over Redskins

There’s no doubt that Eli Manning is an elite QB, there’s also no doubt that the Giants are the superior team this week. Take the Giants in a blowout.

Packers (-14½) over CHIEFS

The ONE week I didn’t choose the Packers in my pool was last week. Just my luck huh? Even though I picked them to cover in this post I decided to skip that game and pick the 49ers instead. Yay. That worked out well. The ½ point kind of scares me, but when in doubt, choose Rodgers.

Saints (-7) over VIKINGS

Last time the Saints were on the road in a dome they shockingly lost to the Rams. There’s no way that can happen again can it? CAN IT!!!??? I have faith in the Saints even with Peterson coming back.

Seahawks (+3½) over BEARS

I was going to choose the Bears at home, but then I remembered about Cutler…and Forte…and BEAST MODE. Take the Seahawks in the upset.

Dolphins (+1) over BILLS

Wow the Dolphins couldn’t wait to get rid of Sparano couldn’t they? After winning four of five they finally have a bad game and POOF, Sparano is gone. But heck, if it gets them that much closer to Jeff Fisher or Bill Cowher more power to them. I was getting sick of the whole “sunglasses at any time of the day” look anyway.

TEXANS (-6½) over Panthers

This could be a trap game for Houston coming off that amazing comeback. I emphasize could. Arian Foster and Ben Tate might be the best running back duo in the league, and the Panthers are near the bottom of the NFL in rush defense. TJ Yates could literally run it every play and the Texans could win by two scores. I wouldn’t mind seeing that actually…

Titans (-6½) over COLTS

If the Titans and Chris Johnson can’t beat a winless Colts team by a TD then the’re dead to me.

Bengals (-7) over RAMS

How good is AJ Green? Every time I turn to Red Zone on Sunday he’s making some spectacular catch over multiple defenders or sprinting past safeties for TD’s. Is he already a top-10 receiver? Expect multiple TD’s coming his way from Dalton this week.

Lions (-1½) over RAIDERS

This will be a slow, ugly, nasty, turnover filled game. What’s the over/under on penalties? 25? 30? The Raiders have shown no signs of life the past two weeks. Ford and McFadden are out per the usual. I don’t see Stanford Routt (or whoever has to help him) limiting Calvin Johnson. Titus Young is a name to watch here too. Sadly, I can see at least two long bomb TD’s from Stafford to either one of those guys. I haven’t even mentioned Mr. Suh’s return…

Patriots (-7) over BRONCOS

Tebow finally failed to cover last week. Why do I say this? Well because I put money on him of course! Facing such an explosive offense like the Patriots is something the Broncos haven’t seen since they played Detroit, and we all know how that game went (in Denver too). The Broncos will score, probably 20+, but it won’t be enough to get within the seven points. The Patriots win by double digits.

Jets (+3) over EAGLES

So the Eagles win one game convincingly and they’re suddenly three point favorites against the Jets? Huh? The Jets have been lighting it up as of late, scoring at least 28 in their last three games. I have very little confidence in a still bewildered Eagles team covering three points against a very hot Jets team.

CARDINALS (-7) over Browns

The Browns will be without Colt McCoy, which might not be horrible actually. Seneca Wallace isn’t a terrible QB. He can run, throw some good passes and has been in the league for a long time. Wait…did I just spend two sentences praising Seneca Wallace? Ugh. Take the Larry Fitzgerald’s instead.

Ravens (-3) over CHARGERS

Ray Lewis is back, the Ravens are in full playoff mode and the Chargers are still very turnover prone. The Chargers have been showing signs of life lately, but against the best defense in the league I can’t see them competing with Baltimore.

Steelers (+1) over 49ERS

I went back and forth on this one. Apart of me likes the 49ers at home, to pound the rock with Gore and Hunter and feast on Big Ben’s leg. The other part of me has seen Big Ben play with terrible injuries before, I’ve seen the Pittsburgh receivers tear it up and I’ve seen what Polamalu and Co. can do to offenses. The 49ers need to convert all those FG’s to TD’s if they have any chance at winning a playoff game. Does it start here? I don’t think so.

—Jordan

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